The Day the Music Died

On June 25th my heart broke into a million pieces. The day the world lost the greatest entertainer to ever walk (or should I say Moonwalk) the face of the earth. When Michael Jackson died I was shocked and devastated. After hearing he had been rushed to the hospital, I figured he would get better and fight like he always had. Unfortunately, that was not to be the case this time. This is a blog I wish I never had to write.
Looking back, I thought this moment would come 4 years ago during his trial. He looked weak and extremely sad at times and I was not sure if he could survive the ordeal. However, Michael fought and made it through the nightmare. After that, I thought Michael could survive anything.

Michael Jackson has been a part of my life since I was 11-years-old and probably even younger. Though I never met him, Michael’s music always brought me comfort. His music brought me back up whenever I was sad or depressed. Not very many artists’ music can do that. Somehow Michael’s music and videos were always escapism from whatever crap I was dealing with, whether it was school, work or personal relationships. He was, to me, simply magic. That is why the day he died I felt like a part me died along with him. However, for some reason I did not shed a tear. I think pretty much numbness took over along with a loss of appetite. But no tears…..until his 11-year-old daughter spoke at his memorial and broke down into the arms of her Aunt Janet. If us fans feel this heart broken over Michael’s passing, then imagine how his three young children feel? His children are what make Michael’s death more painful. Knowing that he will not be able to see them grow up breaks my heart. But I am sure they will do him proud seeing how well he raised them.

Honestly, it was tough at times being a Michael Jackson fan, especially the last several years of his life. We had to constantly defend him against the haters. We were always calling out the media and trying to get people to read the facts first before judging someone. However, my loyalty never faltered. Yes, there were times when I would look at a picture of him and laugh to myself saying “What in the world does he have on?” But then I would say, “Well, that is the Michael we know and love.” By the way, I cannot name one musical genius who was not eccentric or did not beat to a different drum. However, the media continued to single Michael out and that could not have been easy for him. I will not, however, go into details on what or who I think caused his death. That is a totally different blog if I ever feel like writing it.

I truly hope people will remember Michael for his accomplishments rather than the scandals. He needs to be remembered for his music, songwriting greatness, dancing and the fact that he broke down barriers for African-Americans. He was the only artist I know of who had African-Americans, white, Asian and Hispanics dancing or crying along to his music at his concerts. I do truly believe that people are starting to remember Michael for his huge accomplishments, but I only wish he could be around to see and feel the love and adulation that has expanded these last few weeks. It is actually sad that people, now that he is gone, are supporting him again and finally remembering what an awesome performer he is. I call those bandwagon fans. Where was that love the last couple years of his life? That love could have saved him.

I mentioned his dancing above. I love to watch Michael Jackson dance. He was a dancing genius. I would look at his videos or concert footage in awe and wonder how in the heck he could do those moves. The lean in the “Smooth Criminal” performance was always my favorite. I wonder if he would have done that move in his comeback shows, which would have began the other night.

Looking back on my time as a fan, there are things that I regret. A few examples are not trying to purchase tickets for his 2002 American Bandstand performance in L.A. (turned out to be his last televised performance), I should have tried to get tickets to his 30th anniversary shows in New York (though part of me is glad since 9/11 occurred at that time) and I should have took time off of work one day and supported him at his trial like so many other fans around the world were doing. I did, though, visit Neverland in 2002 to drop off a book for his children. It was my favorite book as a child. I sure do hope he received it to give to them. I just wish I had the chance to tell Michael face to face how much he meant to me and that he knew I existed. I will just have to wait until I get to the other side to tell him.

I hope his children will do whatever they can to continue his legacy. I think he will be bigger in death than Elvis. Michael touched the lives of many more people than Elvis through his music and dance.

What I have to keep reminding myself is Michael is not really “gone.” His music will live on forever for generations to come. If I ever have children, they will know Michael Jackson and how he changed music forever. I just cannot believe I will be talking about him in the past tense. My husband and I were discussing this the other day. We are just lucky to have been able to be in the same world as him and witness his genius. People who have not been born yet will have to hear stories about him, but will not witness his genius like we did. We also feel like a part of our childhood is gone. I think anyone who grew up in the 80’s feels like this. At least in my lifetime, we will never see another Michael Jackson. Artists today can try to be at his level, but they will not succeed. Michael just raised the bar too high for that to happen.

So, rest in peace Michael Jackson. We will try our best to get along without you, but you will live in our hearts always. I know you are dancing with the Angels now, which will continue to give me comfort.